Love and Relationship in Indian Metro City

An american girl was gang rapped by six boys

2009-04-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

The news came on 17th Apr 2009 that a 23-year old student of Tata Institute of social sciences was gang-rapped by six friends on Saturday night. The girl was an american national but Indian origin as per the news she was staying in TISS hostel only as she was there in India to do a four month course at TISS.
As per the police all the guys belongs to a good family and study in top colleges in Mumbai. What I got from news that this girl did initially not know these boys, while she was invited on a drink party in a bar at Devanr, Chembur by one her female friend, who is also from US. After party her female friend actually left for her place but she went along with these guys to Marol as she wanted to meet some of her friend in Andheri and as per her she was taken to some house in Marol and she was gang raped during night by these guys I feel you all must have read this news but here I have few questions
1. I am not sure after so much of drinks why this girl wanted to go Andheri with unknown guys, while her female friend has actually left after the party?
2. She says that she realized in the morning that she has been raped whole night, which means she was not in sense during night and was absolutely drunk. If that was her condition why her female friend left her with these guys allowed her to go to Andheri in such a condition?
3. As per the guys the girl also wanted to have sex and co-operated, while later she filed complaint for the rape.
4. In this situation it is difficult to entirely blame these guys only; who may lost their entire carrier if they are punished for the rape. The bigger question is how a girl can drink with unknown people in such a way that she goes out of her senses and then how she can agree to go with these guys to such a far place?
Even some time back also I heard the news that a foreign national girl was gang rapped. Every other day we find the news of rape. This is the time when society should find the root cause of this issue other we may keep punishing of so many people for this crime and there of will be many victims of this crime. What I feel there are two ways we can make the changes in our society
Either we go back in old days, when a girl has number restriction. She used to wear the cloths to cover entire body. She was not supposed to make friend with boys. She was not allowed to be out of home alone after evening hour etc etc. She had to leave her study in the early age and she used to get married in the early age.
OR
We get advanced like society in western country. In such case prostitution should be legally allowed in the country under certain rules and regulation. So that people get place to release the pent up energy.
Even what I observe in Mumbai after getting this dance bar banned such cases have increased. I don’t know what we are trying to stop and what kind of culture we are trying to maintain. If we are trying to ban prostitution in the country, please answer ourselves have we been successful in stopping that in so many years. If some parents get worried as their son may also go for a prostitute, if this get legally allowed in the country. I say here bigger worry should be what if he gets filed for some rape case and becomes a criminal.

By Deepak Thaper
Deepak.thaper@gmail.com

Hidden cameras show enormous on the job sex by BPO gals and guys at night

2009-03-21T01:20:00.000-07:00

Indian BPO corporations have started monitoring their employee activities at night. The call center guys and gals at night are having sex with each other and these are getting into secretly placed video cameras watching them. The sex epidemic in India especially among call center gals and guys is rising at astronomical heights.
According to some think tanks, these guys and gals in early twenties get the sexual freedom at night working together. The sex activities take place during and after work hours in different places.
Many companies take disciplinary actions. Mostly they fire those employees who engage in sex at work. But the number of employees engaged in lesbian and straight sex has skyrocketed recently.

Source - Indiadaily.com

Sex life in Indian college campus

2008-04-13T04:26:00.000-07:00

A new survey finds youngsters ignorant about protection, but brazen about being permissive
MUMBAI: “I used to be invited to parties, but once people realised I had an inhibition about having sex, I stopped receiving invitations,” says Ritika Kapoor, a BCom student in Mumbai, citing an example of the pressure on students to be permissive.
A new survey conducted by the International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS), a UN-based body, confirms that youngsters in India are getting more sexually active. “The reason why most kids had sex was peer pressure. In the case of girls, the commonest reason was pressure from the partner. Many were led to believe that refusing to have sex would ruin the relationship. Pleasure or experimentation was nowhere near the top of the list of reasons,” said Sanjay Mohanty, a co-ordinator of the survey which was completed late last year. The research will soon be presented to the government which is formulating a national youth policy.
Annisha Tandon, a 17-year-old student of a suburban Mumbai college, has no qualms over admitting she indulges in sex because she wants to be ‘cool’. “Every weekend my group heads to my friend’s farmhouse at Alibaug. It’s not mandatory to have sex, but we all do it.”
Nitin Khataria, a BMS student at a South Mumbai college, says that a relationship for him begins with sex. “I have dated girls but neither of us ever insists on knowing each other. It is about spending a good time together.”
In an earlier study by the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai, more than a third of the respondents reported having sexual intercourse before the age of 18. Now the activity has increased with students having more money to spend as well as opportunity

Hotels have come up around colleges to cater to this young crowd, some offering rooms on an hourly basis, or chadarbadli as they call it, for Rs200-500. A manager at a hotel in Juhu says, “We allow students to use the rooms on an hourly basis. It helps when the business is low.”
“You can also ask the hotel staff for condoms if you forget to carry protection,” says Rina Madan, an 18-year-old. Those who can’t afford hotels go to coffee shops where the staff provides the couple with curtains and dustbins for an extra cost. A popular chain of coffee shops in Mumbai is known to provide students with condoms too on request.
There are other options. A parking lot at a restaurant in Juhu is a popular hub for student sex. Ripal Shah, a 17-year-old commerce student, says, “The parking cost is Rs30. Tip an extra Rs30 to the man who parks your car, and you get to enjoy with your partner at the parking lot itself.”
On week-ends, the action moves to beaches or resorts in Madh, Alibaug and Aksa. “Small hotels on beaches charge only Rs60 for an hour. We spend Rs200 driving to and fro, so it is reasonable,” says Manish Khanna, who drives from Versova to Madh almost every weekend.
Discotheques too have started catering to students. A suburban disc that runs in a hotel offers students the option of staying back in the hotel. “When the manager got to know we were regulars, he asked us for the disco-stamp and offered us a discount on the accommodation,” says Mitesh Kumar, a BMM student.
But even as more youngsters indulge in casual sex, experts say sex education has not kept up with the sexual activity, leading to risky behaviour.
Safety ignoredThe IIPS study across six states, which questioned youngsters in the 15-24 age group, had some startling findings. Less than half of the youth interviewed knew that the first intercourse could make a woman pregnant. Only about a third of the young women had the correct information about condoms, and even fewer were well-informed about oral pills and IUDs. Most of them had no idea about spacing methods.
“Most youngsters have only a superficial knowledge about sex, protection or AIDS. In several cases, youngsters claim to have heard of contraceptives, but when you ask them for specifics they are at a loss. The situation regarding abortion is the same,” says Mohanty.
Doctors say sexually transmitted diseases too are on the rise because of unprotected sex, especially amongst youngsters, many of whom think taking the morning-after pill will do.
“Guys always talk of safe sex, but when they get down to the act, they don’t consider wearing condoms. This is scary, but I always carry pills to be on the safe side,” says Annisha.

Critical dating mistakes women make… or that unintentional drama of errors.

2007-07-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

You may think you are doing fine on a date but encounter an unexpected setback…Here are eight of the most common mistakes women make…

Over-aggression - If you’re a real go-getter at work, you’re most likely using the same tactics that worked in your professional life. This doesn’t mean you should pretend to Not have those characteristics.
Be proud of them…they played a big part in shaping you into the strong woman that you are. But let it take a backseat when you enter the realm of relationships.

‘Cinderella’ complex - sometimes, it feels like we’ve found our soul mate after a couple of exciting dates. It isn’t necessary to define the parameters of a relationship (the “Are we or aren’t we a couple?” question) so soon.Enjoy each other’s company learn all you can about him. If the feeling is mutual, there’ll be no question of a committed relationship happening later on down the road. Wait until those initial euphoric feelings have lessened before you start picking out rings.

Commitment-phobia - It may be that things are progressing too quickly in the relationship, and you’re a little freaked out. Or perhaps you can’t shake off the nagging suspicion that there’s a better deal out there somewhere.
What ever the reason, ask yourself why you’re in serious relationship when you are so obviously not ready. Is it pressure from family and friend? Are you afraid of being hurt? Getting to the underlying cause of the problem makes it easier to solve it.

Hitting sack immediately – If you are looking for a serious relationship… Give it sometime before you slip between the sheets. Having sex with someone right off the bat, emphasizes the physical attraction and down place the emotional aspects.

Remember. Great sex doesn’t equal a great relationship and you can’t make someone love you by being easy.

Just move on – May be there’s someone you are dying to date. That he has demonstrated that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, or he just isn’t responsive advances. Muscling your way into his life isn’t going to help you win him over. Don’t while away the hours… hoping he will come around.

Opposite goals in life – Opposite may attract… that’s fine when it comes to trivial issues. But is important you find out your mate’s biggest goal and dreams and measure them against yours. In the early stages of a relationship, you are infatuated and easily overlook crucial issues.
You believe love can overcome anything. But you don’t want to find yourself in a deep and committed relationship and suddenly realized that neither of you is willing to change your goals to match the others.

Seeking mister perfect - Never have high standard when it comes to choosing your man. Have a clear idea of what you want in a mate… but be flexible. If you can’t seen to find the right guy, you may be to particular.Does he really have to be a six footer with black hair and blue eyes? Maintain your standard but try to keep it realistic.

Settling for less – On the other hand don’t be tempted to settle into a less-than-ideal relationship simply for the security it efforts. You can really sell yourself short by adapting the ‘at least, I’m not single’ attitude. You are only cheating yourself out of a successful relationship.

SEXPLOITATION..story on his struggle in bollywood

2007-05-19T23:44:00.000-07:00

I am 30 year old man.I shifted to Mumbai from Kolkata almost nine years ago.. to pursue a career in films.

Beginnings
(The film industry is the best place to be in. I want to be a part of it all my life,) is what most budding say at every awards function.
This holds true only for star aspirants from well-to-do families. But what about those who leave their homes in search of stardom?

Industry men are said to openly exploit women for roles. But not much has been written about the couch on which men have to sleep for work.
When my father’s friend heard that I wanted to become an actor, he cast me in a small role in his film. I shifted to Mumbai. But I was devastated when he died even before the film started. Luckily, I had made a couple of contracts in Bollywood. I bagged cameo roles in two big films.

Embarassing..shocking
I thought my journey in Bollywood would be easy now. Soon, I got a call from a man who claimed to be the casting director for a medium sized banner’s film. But his office was a congested cubbyhole with a dozen guys waiting in queue. When my turn came, I went into the cabin to find a skinny guy.
He asked me to undress and parade in my undergarments. I grew terribly suspicious. I asked around about these shady people and was shocked to hear that the casting for the film had been completed a week ago. I wasn’t surprised to see the office locked, the next day.
A month later, I came across an ad that invited wannabe models and actors to drop in their pictures. A big break was promised to the right guy.
A couple of days later, I received a call from a man informing me that I was the chosen one. I met him the next day and he made me feel like a star. He said he liked the innocence in my eyes.
I was so gullible that I actually started believing I was a born star. He said I needed little grooming. He said he would help me network. I couldn’t believe my luck.

Shifting focus
One say he invited me to work out at the health club with him. I was in the middle of my work-out when he suddenly called me to the Jacuzzi room.
I was shocked to see him sitting nude with his arm around another nude man. They invited me to join them. This was a culture shock to me.
I was embarrassed and ran away saying I wanted to work out. A couple of similar incidents followed including attempts to get physical with me. I was convinced he was gay. I stopped interacting with him.
But I kept meeting similar sorts in my attempts to meet filmmakers. One of them even claimed to be a star secretary.
My experiences convinced me that those in commanding in the industry want your body, not talent. No one does anyone a favour here.

Relationship Life in Mumbai – A self portrait by Rohan

2007-05-19T23:42:00.000-07:00

There is so much work pressure when you’re living in a city like Mumbai. Despite being in a live-in relationship, my girl friend and I had no time for each other. She is often on a month shoots, while I too work long hours.
Eventually, she chooses to have relationship with someone she works with. It was more convenient and frankly, I understand where she is coming from, because I wasn’t giving her the attention she wanted.
After it ended, I tried to get over here by indulging in one casual relationship after another. After finding casual sex in this city is easy-there are enough lonely people, without family and friend, looking for it.
I once slept with a woman who had a crazy work schedule that required her to travel a lot. She admitted that she didn’t have the time to invest in a real relationship.
While living in Mumbai allows you the space and anonymity for sexual freedom, the flip side is that there is a constant fear of your partner cheating on you. The secure, long term, wholesome relationship is what is suffering the most.
My girl friend and I are back together now, but nothing has changed. She is currently working on the 60 day film schedule and is asleep by the time I get home. And my work is so hectic that I don’t even have the time to think of someone else. It is almost easier to stay in this state.

7 Ways to great sex

2007-04-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

Touch: Women love to be
touched and caressed. Hold your woman, massage her, tease and tantalize her
playfully with your fingers. Don’t go straight for the kill; pay attention to
her entire body.
Kisses: Deep passionate kisses
are one of the biggest turn-ons for a woman. Looking into her eyes or touching
her face while kissing can increase the arousal of the kiss. Kissing other
parts of the body such as the fingers, feet, neck, belly, inner thighs,
buttocks and pelvis area can heighten her pleasure.
Emotional Connection: For
woman, sex is usually an emotional act as well as a physical act. The deeper
the emotional connection, the better the sex will be for her, and the deeper
her desire for her lover will become. Share your feelings with your woman and
tell her exactly how you fell about her. For her, what goes on outside the
bed-room is an important factor of what will occur in the bedroom.
Share with her your passion and
desire: A woman wants to be wanted passionately. She wants to see your
deep desire for her and feel how much you want her. Pursue her passionately
and she will be likely shed her inhibitions.
Take your time: The path to
orgasm is just as fulfilling as the orgasm itself and the path is also
important for enhancing her orgasmic experience. Take the long meandering
road, savoring, pampering and adoring every part of her body along the way.
Be a master of oral: A lot of
women cannot achieve orgasm through intercourse. Taking pleasure in delighting
your woman orally is by far one of the enjoyable ways for her to be satisfied.
After play matters: There is
no bigger turn-off for a woman than a lover who immediately begins penetration
without tending to her body and mind. The period of time immediately following
the act (afterplay) is just as important as foreplay. Afterplay reinforce how
a woman feel about the sexual experience and will have a great impact on how
she responds to her love in future.

Man Wants Sex, Woman wants to make love

2007-04-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

For most indian men, foreplay lasts about two minutes. Women are better off relying on a vibrator.
Alyque Padamsee, director, P. Dialogues

When there's no foreplay, women fake it and fool men into beliving that he is fantastic in bed.
Jayat Bhatia, actor Vagina Monologues

Finding partner and privacy

2007-04-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

If we talk about sex life in bombay its quite bold and open as compaired with other city. Here you can find a partner very easily. Normally in bombay people get their partner in various ways !!
Like sometime one gets a partner, while travelling in sharing auto or taxi, in bus, here relationship start with casual friendship and then converts into an affair

Some people get partner in joggers park, in gym, in clubs/pubs, in college!!
After one gets a partner his search starts for lonely and private places....where they can enjoy with each other.

Some good ways to get a partners are matrimonial and dating websites, internet chatting, orkut and yahoo groups.

If you are looking for short term relation or a nightout, there are various pick up bars, massage purlour and friendship clubs.

There are various good places to spent time with your partner like :
- Clubs & Pubs - These are good freakout places, if your girl is ready to give company!!
- Gardens, Beaches - That is good dating places, but make sure you be in limit there!!
- Water parks - Here you get a great chance to have fun with your partner, specially if you visit on some working days and there is no much crowd
- Mumbai outskirts places (Manori, Gorai, Arnala beach, matheran, panvel etc) - On such places you can hire accommodation on very cheap cost and can enjoy complete privacy.